He seemed nice at first.
It was a bright sunny day when my new neighbor arrived. I was in the garage working when he showed up out of the blue and began moving into the empty space above me. He smiled and asked for the WiFi password. He told me he didn’t speak much English, so I typed it in for him.
The next day, I was even more surprised to find him working with me.
My boss also happens to be my landlord.
I learned that my new neighbor was also a friend of my boss, and he had just moved from another state. So, naturally, he needed a job.
At first, he became our delivery man. Every morning, he delivered product from the main kitchen to our other store.
Sometimes our shifts were scheduled at the same hour. Since I walk to work, there would be mornings where he saw me while he was driving by and he would stop by the side of the road and offer me a ride the rest of the way.
It was a little hard to talk with the language barrier, but we managed to get some small conversations going. I’d heard that he was a heavy drinker, so I wasn’t surprised when he asked if I liked to go to bars. I said I didn’t drink much.
A few days later, I became really sick. He could hear me coughing through the thin floors that separated us. He texted me late at night, to my surprise, offering to go buy me medicine.
It was a kind gesture, but I politely declined, since I already had medicine.
Sometimes, I think that’s where I offended him.
But in my eyes, he was a man, and I was a woman. We were strangers. I didn’t want to accept favors without knowing what the expectation might be in return.
After that, he stopped talking to me.
Not just stopped — he gave me the silent treatment.
He started acting like I was invisible. It was difficult, because our roles required us to communicate directly, but he refused. Instead, he sent others to me to relay his needs and I sent back short replies in frustration.
As I became more and more confused, I tried sending him messages apologizing for whatever I did to offend him, but no response ever came.
In fact, it just made him more angry.
I was living every day in distress. Even home was no relief, because we were always right next to each other. I began feeling anxious to go outside in case we ran into each other. Without any given authority, he began to send orders to me through our coworkers that made everyone feel uncomfortable.
With each passing day, I became more obsessed about how to deal with this. I went over it again and again in my mind. What had I done to him? But I simply accepted his treatment and did my best to leave him alone. He didn’t want my apologies, nor did he want to find a resolution.
Then, one day, things got even worse.
I was making drinks for customers when my boss suddenly texted me asking why I had failed to do a task. A task that was directly related to him.
As it turns out, he had texted my boss saying I didn’t do the task, claiming that I wanted to make his life harder. It was a task I’d never neglected before and had no intention of abandoning now. He was making assumptions based on his false understanding of who I was.
I couldn’t believe I was so misunderstood by a total stranger over what appeared to be nothing at all.
I pleaded my case but my boss didn’t want to listen to me. I was told to keep silent.
I stopped what I was doing and instead went to the kitchen to start the task.
As I stepped inside, he began screaming at me.
“Get out! Get out of my face! Get out of here!”
Stunned, with the whole kitchen now watching us, I turned away silently and left.
I was shaking.
Not with anger, but with helplessness. Up to this point, I had spent weeks trying to figure out what I had done wrong. I had dedicated seven years to my job, and I thought I had built a relationship of trust with my boss, but now my world was crashing down around me because of one man I had barely spoken to.
I ended up leaving early, now unable to focus on work. His harsh voice rang in my ears and the tension was in every corner of the building. All the staff kept coming over to console me. I couldn’t even think clearly enough to pray. I needed to get away.
I then removed myself from working on his shifts as a short-term solution, but knew I’d have to figure something out. I was terrified that I would get fired, and since my boss is my landlord, I thought I’d lose my home, too. Not only that, my hours had to be shortened because he was now working regularly.
I started preparing for the worst.
I reached out to one of my co-workers and asked him to be a job reference. Naturally, he asked me what happened, and I told him what I was going through. He said he would pray for me.
After that, I applied to a few jobs, started looking up apartments, and cried myself to sleep.
The following day, I joined an online women’s bible study group. We talked about Psalms 72 and 119. I felt a shock run through me as I read the verses – because it seemed like they were speaking directly to my situation.
He will rescue the poor when they cry to him;
Psalm 72:12-14 (NLT)
he will help the oppressed,
who have no one to defend them.
He feels pity for the weak and needy,
and he will rescue them.
He will redeem them from oppression and
violence, for their lives are precious to him.
Look on my suffering and deliver me,
Psalm 119:153-156 (NLT)
for I have not forgotten your law.
Defend my cause and redeem me;
preserve my life according to your promise.
Salvation is far from the wicked,
for they do not seek out your decrees.
Your compassion, Lord, is great;
preserve my life according to your laws.
Reading these words, I suddenly knew what to pray.
After the study ended, I immediately handed myself over to God, saying I was willing to go in whatever direction He wanted me to, and that my life belonged to Him and no one else. If it was time to change my job, my home, and my life, I was willing. And if I was meant to stay and learn something, I would.
Thirty minutes later, my boss texted me.
He said he was going to have disciplinary meeting about what had happened to me.
Staring at the words in shock, I fell to my knees in surrender and began to cry, thanking God for taking care of me and showing me that I can trust in Him.
But still, I wasn’t sure that the meeting would actually take place; they were friends, after all.
At this time, there was a certain song playing on my speaker. It’s not a Christian song; it’s a song about romance, but for some reason, there’s pieces of the lyrics that remind me of the fire in God’s love.
“Close to you, I feel alive
In your arms, where I survive
Lost in the night, wrapped in your love
Touched like fire rising above
Close to you, I feel alive
Where I survive…“
Having prayed and hope now restored in me, I fell into the music and enjoyed my first peaceful night in months.
The next day, I had a shift with my co-worker whom I had confided in. When he arrived, he greeted me and asked how things were going. I told him I was relieved that some prayers had been answered, but I wasn’t sure if the boss was really going to have a disciplinary meeting. I certainly wasn’t going to ask him about it, either.
He looked at me carefully and said, “Actually, I saw them talking last night.”
I paused and looked at him in surprise. “You saw them?”
“Yeah, they just happened to be eating at the restaurant I went to for dinner. I got seated near them. It looked pretty serious.”
I could barely focus on the drinks I was making for customers as I processed this sudden confirmation.
And then my throat tightened as I realized something else: my song was playing over the work speakers.
God certainly knew how to speak to me.
I looked at him and I said, “I don’t think this is a coincidence.”
He looked at me wisely and said, “I don’t either.”
The next time I saw my neighbor at work, he didn’t have the same look of annoyance that usually rested in his features.
In fact, he didn’t look at me at all for the next few weeks.
But I was now back in good graces with my boss and things started to look less hopeless. I was able to smile again, and my sleep began to improve. I stopped dwelling in anxiety at home, afraid to run into him.
As nice as that was, I felt strongly that there was more to come from the situation but I wasn’t sure what it could be. Ultimately, I yearned for peace and hoped that we could someday be civil to each other. But I didn’t know how to help that happen.
Then one day, as I rested, I suddenly remembered that Jesus had spoken about praying for your enemies. I looked up the scripture and read it curiously.
You have heard people say, “Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.” But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. If you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for this? Even tax collectors love their friends. If you greet only your friends, what’s so great about this? Don’t even unbelievers do that? But you must always act like your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:43-47 (CEV)
It instantly struck a chord, and I understood that I would have to be very patient if I really wanted things to get better.
I prayed for my neighbor that day, and every day that followed.
I prayed that his anger would fall away, that he could find peace in his relationships, that he could be open to receiving love, and that I would be guided to act in a way that showed kindness despite my frustration.
I did what I could to help him at work. If I could open a door for him, or clean something, or help unload a delivery, I did. I realized he would never talk to me first, so if I had a question, I asked him directly instead of sending someone else.
I started being bold.
It worked. Slowly, over time, he began to be more comfortable around me. He started to see who I really was. His judgment over me began to disappear.
Now, four months later, we’re in a totally different place.
He laughs at work now. He helps others more, and says goodbye to everyone as he’s leaving. He jokes with me. And the tension has completely disappeared. He even thanked me for helping him for the first time ever.
Recently, I was late to work and there was a task that we usually do together. I had slept through my alarm, but no one called me, so I was anxious the entire way there. I was sure he would be angry.
When I arrived, he was standing outside, and all the work had been finished. He saw me walking up and I immediately apologized.
“I’m so sorry, I slept past my alarm,” I said. I was ready for the outburst.
He laughed.
“It’s ok, but can you write the supply order? I’m going to go buy supplies now.”
I looked at him in surprise, which I carefully tried to hide.
There was kindness in his eyes.
I felt a shiver come over me. The wisdom in Jesus’s words was standing before me in undeniable truth.
When you pray for your enemies, you are not only transforming yourself, but you are also offering them a doorway to transform themselves.
Before that experience, I had thought I understood unconditional love.
I had thought that forgiving my mother despite her neglect was unconditional love.
I had thought forgiving my ex-boyfriend when he was mean to me was unconditional love.
But now, for the first time, I had chosen to love someone who hated me. Real unconditional love. Jesus’s brand of love.
Through God’s wisdom, I was able to reach beyond myself.
This is God’s promise to us.
He says, “Trust me. Love anyway. Watch what happens.”
This also comes from the Lord of hosts:
Isaiah 28:29
He is wonderful in counsel and excellent in wisdom.