Amazing Grace.
That was it. The song that woke my spirit after over a decade of living my life distant from God.
I wasn’t trying to be rebellious. I wasn’t living in unbelief. It was something even more dangerous: apathy.
For years I chased feeling alive through toxic love, empty lust, and relationships that never truly satisfied.
And in return, I received exactly what one should expect in the absence of salvation.
I was in my kitchen, cleaning, my mind void of any substantial thought, when this song came on my Alexa. After years of listening to secular music and never a worship song, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The thing is, I’d heard it before. Many times. But for some reason, this time, I understood the depth in the words. A wretch like me.
I suddenly understood that I wasn’t supposed to be perfect.
That God was saying to me, “Come as you are.”
Under a wave of what I can only describe as spiritual weight, I fell to my knees and cried.
I’d cried many times before. I cried over my losses, my sorrows, sometimes I even cried just to check if I still felt anything.
This time was different.
I was crying with hope.
Come as you are.
As I listened, I wondered what kind of man could write words like these. When I learned more, the lyrics took on even greater meaning. It was written by John Newton in 1773.
Here’s the thing: he was a slave trader.
His mother died early in his life. At only 11 years-old, he had to adapt to his Father’s job in the slave trade, eventually becoming a slave trader himself. Throughout his life, he experienced many near-death incidents that one could comfortably describe as divine rescues. Still, he fought religion and even tried to talk others out of their belief.
He was seduced by the profit in the slave trade. How ironic it is to think that he was trapped in a type of slavery himself!
He felt God’s calling but ignored it, witnessing and engaging in the brutal treatment of the people around him.
However, he couldn’t avoid God’s harsh lessons. We all experience this some time in our life: a period of hardship that forces a change of heart.
Newton got very sick and fell into the care of one of another slaver’s mistress. During that time, he was abused, and reduced to a “wretch.” Later, a violent storm almost overturned his ship, and he realized how powerless he truly was. Lesson after lesson finally turned his heart to the Lord. He became a transformed man.
Though his conversion was genuine, it took years for him to fully confront the evil of slavery. Later in life, he became a vocal opponent of the slave trade and publicly condemned the industry that had once shaped his life.
No matter where you are in life, it’s always the right moment to turn to God. He turns from no one, as long as your heart is sincere.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind, but now I see.
God never gives up.
Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved,
How precious did that grace appear,
the hour I first believed!
And when you accept Him, His presence feels instant—not because He suddenly arrives, but because He was there all along.
God is always loving, always willing to forgive, always reminding you to lean on Him.
So, come as you are.
He’ll take care of the rest.
“I tell you that in the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who do not need to repent.”
– Jesus, Luke 15:7